How do I make my voice heard?
I feel taken advantage by my girlfriend. Wait, not in the good way. I feel as though we are always doing what she wants to do and my needs get swept under the rug. I am somewhat responsible for this as I tend to be a people pleaser and I do want to do what she wants in an effort to make her happy, but I often wonder when my turn is going to come around. I often witness her playing the people pleaser with other relationships, but with me she asserts herself way too much.
THE TIME WILL COME when you go out on a limb and start speaking up when you feel like you're getting taken advantage of. Don't wait for her to change; don't wait for your confidence to build itself up; and don't see a psychologist to diagram your mother's toilet-training techniques. JUST DO IT. Assert yourself when the time is right. When you start feeling used, speak up immediately, and when your needs get swept under the rug, sweep 'em right-the-heck back out. If that means not making her happy, then so be it. This isn't just the [Your Girlfriend's Name Italicized] Show. You need to be happy too, and besides, in making yourself happy, you indirectly make her even more happy than if you continued placating her.
She'll probably be confused or resistant at first and you might fuck up here and there and blow little things out of proportion -- I said I didn't want pickles! Why must you always ignore my needs you Jezebel??? Those are all natural, healthy parts of the adjustment process. Once you make room for your voice to be heard and start to feel respected, the need to protect that voice will be less urgent and you'll have the option of scaling back some of your assertiveness. Then you'll find your balance between asserting yourself and letting things go. Harmony at last.
Everything will fall into place. I promise it will get easier over time to the point where it becomes natural and you start to wonder how you could have ever not stood up and made your presence felt. Have fun, Tiger!