Should I get breast implants?

Dearest Edahn,

I have always been bothered by the size of my boobs-- they are not uneven, but they are really tiny titties and I feel like clothing never fits the way it is supposed to. I am thinking about getting fake boobies, but I have some questions before I commit to it...

1) is it really easy to tell when a girl has fakems if they aren't ridiculously large (by seeing and by touching)?

By seeing, it depends on the guy's training and ken. I think it's pretty obvious by the way they move (and don't move). By touch, the saline are harder while the silicone feel more like fat. I haven't felt any of the silicone implants, but if someone would like to show me, strictly for educational purposes of course...

2) do guys negatively judge a girl who has them?

What kinds of guys? It's not a yes or no question and a lot of the answer depends on how the girl carries herself and shows them off. There's a girl who frequents the gym I belong too who has ridiculously big boobs that pour out of what looks to be a training bra. The first things guys think is "yay4boobies!!!" but they also know that the girl is absorbed in her image, trying hard to get noticed, and probably has a wallet filled with $1 bills.

On the other hand, some women are modest with clothing. They might wear clothes that are flattering, but they don't advertise their breasts as obviously. Still, you might encounter some judgments from guys, but it wouldn't be as severe, especially if you exude a humble confidence.

3) is it better to have fake boobs or small boobs?

From a guy's perspective, again, it depends on the kind of guy you're trying to attract. More important is how you carry yourself. I don't think you need to have big breasts to be beautiful at all. Big breasts are fun in the beginning, but their luster wears off. A girl who feels sexy and doesn't apologize for the way she looks, boobs or not, is incredibly beautiful and attractive because she sends a signal that she's understanding and at ease. That invites guys to relax and not be so worried about being imperfect...and we're all imperfect.

So from the guy's perspective, it might help at first, but in the long run, the critical issue is how it affects your self esteem. I see girls who get plastic surgery who seem to have a temporary boost in their self-esteem but it doesn't really last. They revert back to their old self-critical patterns and pick a new "defect" to fixate upon until they get so much surgery that they start to look like an alien. NOT. SEXY. I think these women actually become more self-conscious after their surgery and more demanding of perfection. They get very tense about the way that they look and need everything to always be in order. In my mind, their self-esteem has taken a blow. Then again, I'm sure there women who get the implants and move on with their life without obsessing about the way they look. I haven't really met them, though.

Take a good look at yourself and ask what the result will be. Will having this surgery let you stop fixating on your breasts or will you just obsess about them in a new way, like the girl at my gym? After you answer that, consider the liabilities: pain, infection, autoimmune diseases, replacement within 20 years tops. If you think this is really a wise move--if you're doing this because you really want to be kind to yourself--do it. If you're not really sure or clear, then don't.

4) how big should I go, and should I go saline or silicone? when hooking up, do you notice the scars?

Silicone implants are filled prior to insertion and therefore leave a bigger scar. They're said to feel more realistic, like fat. The saline is inflated once it's in, so the scar is smaller and surgeons can actually make the incision in the armpit so there's nothing on the breast itself, (phew) but they say that the salines feel harder and less realistic. I've heard that some women are unhappy with the way it sloshes around when they move up and down, e.g., during sex. How big? I'd suggest making them proportional to your body to avoid becoming too obsessed with them.

5) should I mention that my boobs are fake before the guy even touches them so that he isn't surprised?

You mean so he doesn't get worried or turned off when squeezing and fondling your huge boobs? Yeah, I think he'll be okay without the warning.

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