Don't call me Hooker!

 Hi,

i m 28. Can i go to prostitue only for kissing and smootching. bacause i want enjoy a lot in this world. what i should do. my marry would be after one year.

Regards

[name withheld]

Dear Madam (semi-pun semi-intended),

I'm not 100% clear about your question, but I'll do the best I can. You are 28 and would like to know if kissing a guy before you're married makes you a prostitute. You will be married to him in a year, or would like to get married to someone within a year. Is that right? If it is, then you need to know 2 things.

There are two ways people use the word prostitute. First, we use it in a legal sense. In most of the United States, prostitution is illegal. In order to be considered a prostitute, you need to have sex for money. Love and feelings are typically not exchanged. I don't know how your country defines prostitution, but in the US, this is not prostitution because you are not getting money out of it and (generally) have feelings for the person.

The other way people use the word prostitute is not legal but casual. Guys and girls will call a girl a prostitute or "hooker" or "slut" when they feel she has done more things sexually than what the "normal" person would do. What is normal changes from culture to culture, and therefore, different cultures have different definitions of what it means to be a prostitute in the casual sense. Again, I can't speak for your culture, but in the US, kissing, touching, and even having sex are a very normal part of a relationship. You would not be considered a prostitute even if you were not planning to marry the guy after you had sex.

In my own opinion, I think people should be able to do what they want as long as they're not hurting anyone else. But if you live in a culture that is very strict, you need to be aware of how your culture will react. I'm not saying you have to only do what they'll approve, but you have to act smart. You need to consider the way other people might react, and the way your boyfriend might react and try and make the best decision you can, a decision that feels right and is practical.