My grabby friend

Sneaky guy!

Dear Edahn,

I have a friend whom I love very much. Since she became single, we've been spending much of our free time together. I am beginning to fear that she is becoming a little too attached to me. My fear is that I know life always changes and evolves. I am scared that once there is a blip on the radar she is going to fall apart. I've always maintained that living in the moment is important and to understand that change is inevitable. 

When I try to talk to her about what she sees happening in the future, she changes the subject. It's like she just wants everything to be the same all the time. She's also unhappy in her job and in her living situation. How do you think is the best way to get her to understand that she needs to accept change and also to change the things that make her unhappy in her life?

THERE'S ALWAYS A BEAUTIFUL solution to every conflict and problem in life. The beauty comes internally, from you. All things beautiful have the same thing in common -- they're created by or create a feeling of sincerity, patience, and open-heartedness. That's really the same feeling described in different ways. If you try too hard to summon that outlook, you'll almost definitely fail, but that's okay because when you give up and just wait, that outlook will develop on its own. That outlook happens to be enlightenment as far as I'm concerned. Nothing less.

Take a minute and reflect on these questions: if I was sincere, patient, and open-hearted, but not in a way that I sacrificed myself or my composure, what would I look like? How would I walk and interact with this person? You don't have to know what you'd say or do to fix this problem. Just imagining what it would look like will help get you there.You'll either know what to do or wait until the right move becomes clear. If nothing ever comes, that means waiting was the right solution.

Thanks for being a good person! Edahn approves.