When your relationship is off to a rough start...
Say you're on an island and you decided you need to get off. At the end of the beach is a speed boat with weird controls and a possibly fucked up motor. The speed boat is fast, but the ride is horrible. You'll fall off periodically. Also, sharks are in the water. Did I mention sharks?
If you were patient and scoured the island more thoroughly, you'd probably find something better, like a raft. The raft is less exciting than a speed boat, but it's a lot more comfortable and you won't fall off. You just sit back and relax and float in the right direction. The sharks aren't interested in your raft.
A lot of people opt for the speed boat. Sometimes they crave the excitement and get bored with the raft. Or, they don't realize there's another option. Or, they're just impatient or worried the raft doesn't exist. The raft may not exist for everyone, and it's possible that some people are quite happy living on the island. But for most people, the raft is there, and being a kind, decent person helps increase your odds.
So if you find yourself on the speedboat, circle back and find your raft. And if you're already in the middle of the ocean, then get started building one. Because in the long run, a smooth ride will help you cultivate peace inside, and that's what will matter more than anything.